Winter Nights, Heavy Hearts!

(Collaboration)

“when a girl/boy with words in her/his hand & ink in her/his heart falls in love, you know you’ll be left for the world to remember”

Winter nights are a charmer of broken souls. fallen dew gracing the silent tree tops & melancholy of skylark gives night a cryptic hue.
She closed her café at midnight as the streets were empty. Putting on her jacket, walking home. What a lovely cold winter night it was, her favorite season but not something to remember either.
Staring at the city landscape from his office, he couldn’t help himself getting distracted by the cold night and the cold memories.

– A year ago –
It was the rush hour at her café. Everyone after work came here to get some bite as it was one of the few cozy places to eat in mid of busy work afternoon. After hearing her call on her counter several times she ran to counter no. 8 where a man suited up was complaining about the cold soup served to him by mistake.

He couldnt help but lay eyes on one of the waitresses explaining to him it was by mistake. “but I wanna meet the owner” He uttered to her. “You are speaking to her sir” she said with a bit of amuse in her eyes.

She apologized and he was awestruck at her humble nature. Never in his business career he ever did/say this, “My mistake actually, Sorry for the mess” and left.

While everything forgotten at her side, and sleeping soundly, at the other end he couldnt sleep that night, his thoughts were all about that owner of the café. He wasn’t that used to girls, he was far from a ladies man. But she was different.

It became a routine from next day, at every lunch break he would go fetch a croissant at that café. She and him had a sudden spark and every other day she would sit with him at night at the café and they would tell each other about their life, Talks started, from the book she likes to read to the music he likes; from the college she attended to the company he owned.

They were getting close to each other day by day.She is thinking about him, a little more than a friend. She used to blush everytime she thought about him.He couldn’t wait to ask her out. He was afraid of the rejection but it was worth the risk. Wasn’t it?

“Dinner at 8′ o clock ” ? His fingers did a little dance before tapping Send on his cellphone screen.After jumping all over the house, she finally sent “YES!!”

Due to their busy work schedules, they couldn’t give each other much time but still they were going strong. Weekends were usually spent at each other’s places with take aways and movies and netflix and chill. But as Taylor Swift says, nothing lasts forever. They started splitting but who was to be blamed? Him or her? Just like their first meet he was at the counter no. 8 with his soup getting cold. She is staring at him, more like waiting for what he has to say. She knows what it is but she wants to hear it from him.

“We have to end it, for once and for all” there, He said it. He couldn’t even look through her eyes. His throat all caught up after what he said.  “We have nothing left between us anyway. But whenever you need someone just remember I am always here” Giving a little squeez to their entwined hands, leaving a kiss on his cheeks, she disappeared behind the kitchen. He left too.

After that day, No one ordered food at mid night. The one who did, stopped dropping by.

-Today-

Today, exactly a year after that eventful night, The weather is chilly. So are they. Every time someone opened the door of her café, her hope of it being him always lightened. She waits for him to turn up. Every Time he got a call or a message, he hoped it was hers. He waits for her to turn up too.

Winter Solstice was the term Google had used to describe this day, the shortest day and the longest night of the year. The world had not ended that day, and it had only begun.

Happiness? Illusion.

It was perfect. What they had, didn’t have a name but it was perfect. 

They had been best friends for a really long time, longer than their romance. He knew everything about her life and she knew him in and out. They argued and fought but in the end he would pull her close and a kiss would make it all okay. 
They were happy. Happiness came within themselves. Both of them liked each other the way they were. Never wished to change anything except for some habits. 

Her habit of overthinking and his habit of not caring enough. Her habit of giving a 101% and his habit of staying busy all the time. Her habit of waiting and his habit of forgetting. Her habit of constantly complaining about something which was too dangerous for him and his habit of… smoking. 
It was something she loathed. He promised that he would quit smoking just to see her smile. It was hard for him to quit and hard for her to see him hurting himself internally with the side effects. There were days when she would ask him to choose between her and the cancer sticks. He would just distract her with his sweet words as he knew what affect he had on her. 

She was tired of all this. She finally understood that half of his promises were false and many of her talks didnt matter enough. Yet, she was there because “why not?”

Days passed on and nothing changed. She blabbered and he slept on it. Totally ignoring her, at times. 
Today was her birthday. She never really awaits for it but it’s he who does. To give her gifts, surprises, to tell her that he had stopped smoking.. A day with tons of colours of joy. She was never this happy. After spending a whole day with him and his surprises, which she adored, she planned to go for dinner with her girlfriends and because the girls insisted, they hit the club.
Dancing, mocktails, friends, it was totally packed. She almost felt like she didn’t belong there, and started wandering around. Thoughts about him crossed her mind but she chose to ignore them for a while. C’mon, won’t it be a little too clingy?
She was worn-out, sitting by the bar, didnt want anything but to go back home and sleep with his arms around her. Which wasn’t exactly possible but the least she could do was call him. She tried calling him many times. Not long until she noticed. The number of times she had been calling a ring could be heard from somewhere around her. She turned around. But then, so did her life. 
A cigarette pressed on his lips and a girl sitting on his lap. The fact that broke her was looking at that girl the same way he looked at her. He caught her staring. Shocked that she was there. Afraid about her reaction. 
“She’s just a friend, babe.” He said while chasing her. 
“I’m just a friend too. Aren’t I? I thought I was the only one but I was wrong. Take care.” 

What hurt her the most was his disloyalty. Leaving him there, stunned and running far away from all of it. Pressing her lips over her first cigarette and starting a new habit. Laughing at herself, ‘Happiness is nothing. But just an illusion like smoke which fades away in no time.’

Society.

    Hello guys! This is collaboration with @tubafatima , this post is close to our hearts because we’ve written it out of experience. Sharing this post with you guys, so you know you’re not alone, so you know it gets better and it will.

    @tubafatima: Artist, craving for knowledge, trying to find her different place in this world.

    Do check out her blog and follow her♥

    Popular girl,

    Nah not what you think about, not a cheerleader, neither the bitches in mean girl, but she does get talked about a lot, people stare when she walks past them, she can hear them whispering about her,

    Why? Let me tell you why,

    Society taunts her because she was happy, she did what made her happy, She was cute, but the weighting scale had big number. She stands up for herself because she cant handle the bullshit, the close mindedness. What was her fault? She was beautiful, inside and out. Her eyes, her face, her language, her laugh. Shes strong, took up martial arts because she was different, beats up guys harder than they do themselves.

    She got tired, annoyed, frustrated with the comments. Finally decided to change herself, she got quieter by time, started eating less, skipping meals, Stayed home, cut off all her connections. “Why am I doing this to myself?” She always thought. She had no one, except her diary, she wrote every night. One night talking to her diary, she realized how unreasonable the society can be, she woke up the next morning, with trembling hope but with a smile and big dreams. She joined a gym, but never stopped her teethy laugh and the snarky comebacks. She started being herself, with the burgers but also the treadmill, learning to love herself.

    With time her trembling hope turned into power. Today, she stands stronger than ever, completely accepting herself. Turning her painful past into a lesson, being a role model.

    Why does it matter if a girl is quiet, or loud or wild? Fat, or thin? Bold or shy? Arent their hearts all the same? Arent all beautiful with just a small smile? Grow up society, stop taunting people because of what they look like, or their wishes and dreams. Let them be, let them stay happy, you mind your own business, how a person is supposed to look, dress, feel, weight, talk, nothing is your business, thank you.

    • If anyone ever tells you that your dreams are not worth it, they don’t have dreams of their own, you do, you’re already way ahead.
    • Handle situations with you mind, not your anger. Take a deep breath, think it through, then make decisions.
    • Tell your self those tiny things you love about yourself, things that are different about you. Tell yourself you’re beautiful because you are.
    • Distance yourself from people who don’t realize your worth or keep passing comments, that’s all they can do.
    • Take pictures, selfies everyday, admire how beautiful you are.
    • Compliment random strangers, they’ll appreciate it, you’ll love yourself for that.
    • If anyone ever tells you that you don’t look good, tell them they’re beautiful, because the reason they say that is because someone made them feel bad about themselves, you could be reversing everything. Imagine some one doing that for you.
    • The energy you use in hating yourself? Use that to change yourself, go to the gym, take a walk, it’s gonna be worth it.
    • Motivate yourself, no one does it better.
    • Last but not the least, Love yourself no matter what others say. ❤

    x

    The Sun & The Moon

    They competed. With the world

    They made jokes. Of each other

    Teased. Laughed. Cried. Together

    Late night adventures. Early morning drives.

    Mid-noon chilling points. Evening bickers

    2 Friends. Inseparable from each other. They never looked back never looked ahead, lived for today. Seized their days with smiles.

    Both of them had their problems to solve, but being with each other gave them strength to face it. They listened to each other even in their silence. No one imagined them to stay away from each other. One was moon, other was sun.

    “You gotta handle me till you are dead” They said, Always.

    Until, when they started chasing dreams, conquering the world, getting out of their small village, living a life. Unknown to the fact that they are drifting apart. No one could stop them from flying abroad and choosing new paths.

    They called, texts, Skype. They couldn’t just realize whats happening between them, different time zones tearing them apart, getting lost in their crowds, eventually forgetting their promises to each other while smoking joints on the roof top at 2am.

    One day, One was lost, Sitting on a garden bench, a big mess. Didn’t know what to do,had no idea whom to call, no one to help. Missed old friend, during the time when they had nothing, they were everything with each others support.

    Confused to contact back or not, will there be a positive reply or a voice mail beep?

    After a lot of debates with mind and heart, pressed call.

    *ring*

    “Hello?”

    Lost fellow didn’t know how to speak without falling apart.

    “Booking my flight. Don’t do anything stupid till I reach there.”

    “Thank you” Uttered with a hard voice.

    “Didn’t promise to handle you till I am dead for nothing”

    Smiled and finally knew where home was. It was in the unforgotten but long lost friendship.

    They hugged, Fixed each other, Talked, Laughed, Smiled on their old memories.

    They knew, no matter what happens, nobody could break them apart.